Kellybaby: Discovering My Sexuality

The blog of a Chinese girl who leads a regular life by day working and making a living, but who leads a "un-regular" life by night discovering more of herself, her sexuality, and her dark side. So who is she? A decent gal? A slut? Read and decide. WARNING: POSSIBLE ADULT CONTENT! TURN AWAY IF YOU ARE BELOW 18 YEARS OF AGE OR UNDERAGED IN YOUR COUNTRY!

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Nude in Malaysia? Maybe not...

Wow, its been nearly two weeks since my last blog post and it has been a pretty hectic two weeks. For those who have been wondering (and asking in your emails) where I "disappeared" to, I was back in Malaysia for a holiday to visit some old friends there.

(For those who have forgotten or have not read my profile, I was born and raised in Hong Kong but lived in Malaysia for quite a number of my teenage years while my folks worked there before we finally migrated to Australia. So Malaysia is something like an adopted home for me. Still have many good friends living there.)

It has been fun, meeting up with old friends, shopping, clubbing, eating (oops...did I just say that?), doing my hair (hey, its alot cheaper there)....but had to meet their parents too. Don't get the wrong idea, its great meeting them and they're really nice, but I had to remove some of my "wild" fashion accessories (which is really only my navel ring) as they are rather conservative. Its only a navel ring but I get the shivers whenever I have to remove it. Somehow the little line of flesh holding it in place seems so thin and fragile that I just get nervous about removing it. Heck, now that I'm back home in Australia I haven't put it back on yet because of the same nervousness about tearing my flesh there. Oh....vanity vanity....

Whats interesting though is realising that my views on one's sexuality has radically changed from those of my friends in Malaysia. Ok, I confess. Its more of me being more open these days....alot more open.

We were talking and soon it came to the area of sex. I openly said that I enjoy sex, have multiple partners, pose nude....and they were totally shocked. Seems being too open isn't such a good idea.

I wondered if its me being a total slut (but if I'm a slut then alot of my friends here in Australia must be sluts too) or are they being prudes. To them, having sex and all isn't a big deal, but openly saying it and posing nude are shocks. I don't know, I guess its just a case of a lifestyle, perception and culture in two different places. Malaysia is still an Asian country and though it is modernized, alot of its people still have relatively conservative views on sex compared to western society. If I haven't migrated to Australia years back...who knows?

Since that conversation I feel as if things have changed between me and my old friends there. We're still close and friendly, but it seems as if there is a barrier now between us. Maybe its the embarassment of knowing that their friend (me) is such a....slut? The girls seem a bit hesitant with me and the guys seem to look at me differently. Hmmm.....perhaps they're fantasizing about me? ;) Maybe I'll write more on this later.

But at least one of my old girlfriends there was enthusiastic about my lifestyle. She even told me "Kelly, if I'm in Australia or some foreign country and my folks are not living with me, I would do the same!" We stayed together in the same hotel room when we were holidaying in some other part of Malaysia and we had lots of fun together. :P

But thats Malaysia. I'm back home a few thousand kilometers away from them here in Sydney. As for Yvonne, business as a nude photographer is good. Seems alot of ladies here want to have their own little nudie photo collection. *laugh* Hey, I don't have to queue since she's a personal friend.

Glad to be home. ;)

Friday, November 25, 2005

Me? A Nude Model?

Haven't been posting lately because my good friend living in with me just started her own photo studio and I was busy helping with the official launch preparations. Must say it has been fun, though tiring. Whats most interesting (and ultimately fun) for me is when I discovered her collection of her own nude pictures.

When I first saw it, I nearly broke out laughing. Ok, before you start thinking that I'm some bitch of a friend, I'm not. I nearly laughed not because she didn't look good or I'm a prude. In fact, my good friend has one of the tightest bodies I've seen around town and has a cute face to match. I'm definitely no prude either.

I laughed because I never thought that my friend would actually do such a thing. We always joke about our fantasies of being a nude model but I never took her seriously or thought she would actually do it....until that day when I came onto her photo collection.

Myself: "Yvonne, are you really going to start posing for some adult magazine?"

Yvonne: "Yes! I'm going to be the next Playboy covergal! You know Nicky, he's been reading too much Playboy and fantasizing about me being in it *giggles* Kelly, its my private collection. Nicky took those for me. Wanted to tell you but got busy. Anyway, I'm not going to pose for an adult magazine. *pause* How about starting your own collection?"

Myself: "Me? I don't look as good as you. Besides, who is going to take them for me? Nicky? Yucks..."

Yvonne: "I could..."

I was quite turned on by the idea. So out came her personal digital camera and wow....Never quite realised how much I like looking at myself. :P

Haha, didn't really want to do this one but Yvonne felt it made me look more like a nude model.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

What is this?

I guess my blog will receive very mixed responses depending on which part of the world you come from. Oh wait, what is this blog about anyway?

This is the blog of an Australian Chinese gal who is discovering more of herself and her sexuality as she grows. Born and raised in Hong Kong, lived in Malaysia for a few years before finally emigrating with her family to Australia, her opinion of her sexuality has become a complex puzzle. Should she be the decent, sexually conservative Chinese that many expect her (as a Chinese) to be, or should she discover more of herself now?

Before you start thinking that I'm a decent gal who is totally conservative about sex, I'm not. I've slept around. I'm not a virgin (lost my virginity when I was 16). I've had more than five sex partners in my life so far. (Ok, stop calling me a slut.) I masturbate. I like to give sneak peeks to people in public.

But should I stop here? Should I quit sex and the other things I do sexually now? Or should I do more and discover more about my sexuality? That is what this blog is about. Interested? Watch out for my future posts. Until then, tell me....what should I do?